Too bad we can’t rewrite our own history.

 

Interesting how everyone around you seem to change for the better, but not the people you want to change.

I feel like my life goes in circles. I try to take a different/new path, but I always end up in the same place. A place where I shouldn’t be. A place that makes me feel like a fool.

I hear the same sweet words, and I think maybe this time its for real.

But I know in my heart, its just words and nothing more because the actions don’t show anything.

I’m like an old toy. Never thrown away, yet put in the corner. Whenever its missed, dust is shaken out and life is back on repeat. I am a fool.

I tell myself, that this time will be different. I tell myself that i’m stronger. But then history repeats itself and I fall for those words again. Those words that I wish were true. Words that I wish was straight from the heart.

But still no change…just words. Words that I make myself believe. Words that make me weak. Words that break my heart in the end.

Life will only be on repeat if you let it.

Something needs to change! Something…anything please!

Currently listening to: John Mayer’s new album “Battle Studies”

 

 

Weakness.

It takes a lot for me to be angry at something or someone.

My problem is…I dont say whats bothering me. I always let the other person win. And when I try to speak my mind, somehow it gets turned around.
Everything I’ve held back is starting to overload. There are times when I just wanna explode!

I feel like I cant breathe.

I have so much to say, but dont know how to put it into words.
When I think I’m strong enough, I become weak again.

Everyone says to hold on to hope, but hope is what makes me weak. It’s what makes me crumble…makes me fall into the cracks.

I know that God’s love never fails. That I know. Its what keeps me from falling apart completely. I thank You for that.

I just wanna be happy…

Someone once told me
That you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything
Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
Cause love wont set you free
I could stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy but safe as could be

So what if it hurts me
So what if I break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about other pain in front of me
Cause I’m just tryna be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly
Just can’t let it go
Just tryna play my roll
Slowly disappear
Well all these tears
They feel like they’re the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me outta here
Well I can stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
Pass me by

So any turns that i cant see
Ill count a stranger on this road
But don’t say victim
Don’t say anything

So what if it hurts me
So what if i break down
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
Cause I’m just try to be happy
Just wanna be happy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BQuzbFDnX4&feature=related

 

 

 

 

Fearless – Colbie Caillat

“If that’s the way you love
You’ve got to learn so much
If that’s the way you say goodbye

And this is how it ends
And I’m alright with it
Never going to see me cry
Cause I’ve cried

So go on, go on and break my heart
I’ll be okay
There’s nothing you can do to me
That’s ever going to burn me

So go on, go on and leave my love
Out on the street
I’m fearless
Better believe I’m fearless, fearless.

If this is how it hurts
It couldn’t get much worse
If this is how it feels to fall

Then that’s the way it is
We live with what we miss
We learn to build another wall
Till it falls

If it’s between love and losing
To never have known the feeling
And I’m still sad we’ve loved

And if I end up lonely
At least I will be there knowing
I believe in love.”

—-I think this song is beautiful. Love love love Colbie Caillat’s new album Breakthrough.——

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -Lance Armstrong

I <3 my family.

God really is amazing!

No family is perfect. We all have our issues. We’re all dysfunctional in our own ways.
No matter how much drama there is; no matter how many tears we shed; no matter how much pain we may cause one another…there is LOVE.
Love takes over and brings joy, happiness, smiles, laughter, and some pretty awesome memories.

It really is a blessing to have all my cousins live so close to me. There are times we take it for granted, but God always shows us in the smallest ways how blessed we are.

At peace…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6 & 7

 

Thank you Lord.

“I need to know that it’s possible that two people can stay happy together forever.”

“Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.” -Juno

I wonder…will there really be someone that will love YOU for YOU?!?
We’re all imperfect. We all have our flaws.
People make lists of what they want in someone, but are people willing to compromise?
What if, that person has ALMOST everything on your “list”, but not 100%…would you still stay with that person? Compromise?
Or will you think that you deserve someone “better”…someone more “perfect”?

I stopped believing in the “perfect” man. There is no such thing. There is no prince charming or whatever. But I believe that whoever God brings into my life, he will be perfect in my eyes. Because we are all made in the image of God, and God is perfect.

Never change who you are for a guy/girl…because to God..YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
Never think less of yourself!

There is only one true love that no one should ever forget: God’s love.  <3

So…decided to start a blog. We’ll see how this goes.

For the past couple days, God has really been speaking to me and its quite overwhelming. I don’t know how to describe it, but at times, through out the day, my legs feel weak. I hear Him, and I just wanna fall to my knees sometimes.

When I woke up yesterday, all I heard in my head was “shaken but not abandoned”. All day thats all I heard. It was driving me crazy. I realized it was Pastor Sam’s sermon that God wanted me to listen to again. So I did…and yet again…I was blown away. No matter what we’re facing, God NEVER abandons us. No matter how much we turn away from Him, no matter how many times we fail Him, no matter how far we fall…He’s RIGHT THERE to catch us. There are times when we think, “oh I can do it by myself. I have everything. I have nothing. I have ____”. But we all need a shepherd people! He is our shepherd. He leads us to green pastures and brings us back when we stray.

Lord, I need You. You’re all I need. Your love NEVER fails.